


ever since we were young

by paradiseparadox



Category: Aespa (Band), EXO (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band), Super Junior, 소녀시대 | Girls' Generation | SNSD
Genre: F/F, M/M, kpop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:33:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28538892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradiseparadox/pseuds/paradiseparadox
Relationships: ae Karina/ae Winter (Aespa)
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**CONTENT WARNING: INSULTS, BULLYING, ANXIETY, MENTAL HEALTH CONCERNS**

_it’s not your fault. it’s not your fault._   
_“what did you do?!?!”_   
_“harabeoji, wake up! harabeoji!”_   
_“oh no. oh no! no! get away from here!”_   
_“you scumbag!”_

beads of sweat were running down the young lady’s face. that was just a dream, karina. _harabeoji knows you did nothing wrong to him. it was just a misunderstanding._ but she was lying to herself. she was not okay. every night, it eats her up. her emotions were a mess, and she cannot stop thinking about what happened 7 years ago. she looked to her right and heard a soft knock, “karina? are you up already? school starts in 10, darling.” to which she responded with a soft yes. she got up and readied her things. ah, new school, new life. new surroundings and another adjustment.

“yeobo, how is she?” a lady quite the age, sipping her morning coffee greeted the other lady after she came back from their daughter’s bedroom. “she’s not fine. i heard sobs before i knocked. it seems like she’s still not over the incident even though we moved already.” the other lady told her wife. after letting out a heavy sigh, the woman who was drinking her coffee finished the last gulp and hugged her partner for assurance. “she will be fine here. i just know it.” and their silence was a sign that they agreed with their decision.

minutes after yoona woke their daughter up, karina was ready to leave. but she did not have the will to do so. she was scared. she was nervous. after all, this was an unfamiliar place. this was not the neighborhood she grew up at. everything around her was new, even her bed. after collecting and calming herself down, she finally got the energy to go down and go to her new school. before she could enter the kitchen, she saw her mothers, yoona and yuri hugging and talking about their situation. especially hers. she took a deep breath before entering their kitchen, “eomma, i’m leaving for school.” she said and heard soft goodbyes as she left their house.

  
upon reaching the gates of her new school, she was appalled of how big it was. this university, in this neighborhood? wow. she swallowed a few gulps before finally entering, but before she could take another step, she heard familiar voices.

_“that was the most delicious tteokbokki i have ever tasted in my whole life!”_   
_“chenle, you’re almost 7 years here in korea. was it your first time?”_   
_“yes! because i was afraid to try it.”_

karina turned her way and before she knew it, she bumped into one of them.

“oh! i’m so sor-karina?”  
“mark-oppa?”

the group was so shocked that they created a nuisance before the entrance.

“it’s really you! when did you enroll here? are you with your moms?  
“yeah! we did not know gomo-i mean the directress still accepts enrollees even after winter break.”

karina let out a timid smile, knowing that her mother’s family still does not grasp the idea of her being part of them.

“we’re creating quite a scene here. do you mind if we enter now?”  
they all laughed at renjun who surprisingly talked after their long walk from their house.  
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“winter! winter, where are you?” winter gruntled at the voice of her best friend. “what is it now, ningning?” the other girl gave her a semi-disgusted look. “who the heck is ningning? i told you to call me vivian!” winter rolled her eyes at the girl and let out a small laugh afterwards.

“anyway, that’s not what i was here for! have you heard the news?” winter looked at her in disbelief. “do you take me for someone who’s into gossip?” she answered. nevertheless, ningning grabbed a chair from the nearby table and sat beside winter. “there are rumors going around that we have a transferee-” and before ningning could finish her sentence, squeals and screams are heard from the hallway. what is it this time? winter said to herself.

the hallway was like an airport receiving idols from a different country. the lee grandsons were treated as celebrities in this school. of course, they would be. this is their grandfather’s school. only one of the institutions that the lee conglomerate had founded.

but in between the shouts of the girls who were daydreaming, meaningful and awful stares were shot at karina who walked with the second-year celebrities.

_“who is she?”_   
_“are they friends or what?”_   
_“is she the transferee?”_   
_“she’s not even pretty!”_   
_“how dare she walk with our dream!”_

karina overheard it all. her anxiety is slowly eating her again. she felt something crawling up her legs that stops her from walking, while slowly drowning in muck. she couldn’t speak. she can’t hear her background, not until a hand lands her shoulder.

“karina? are you alright?” karina was so frightened that she looked straight in the eye of the hand’s owner. it was jeno. one of her cousins that she grew up with. before she could think straight, she hugged jeno and cried hard.

everyone around them were shocked. _who is this girl? how did she hug jeno? no, how is she so close to them?_ the question that ran through everyone’s minds, even the boys. “let’s get out of here.” jeno said to his cousins. they were aware of the situation between their family, but they overlooked karina’s situation, given that she left the common house with her parents, but still she was affected.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“who was that?” winter asked after the crowd had settled down. she looked at ningning, who became so silent that she was shocked. “hey! are you okay?” winter worriedly asked. ningning nodded but was still in a state of shock. “wow. i can’t believe it.” ningning said which left winter confused. “what do you mean?” she asked. “they’re still so handsome!” ningning answered.

winter made a face stuck between confusion or anger. she had enough of ningning fangirling over dream, the title that the “fangirls” had named the lee grandsons. “they’re still humans you know. why do you idolize them so much?” winter asked in confusion.

“winter are you gay?” ningning asked abruptly which made winter uncomfortable, uneasy, and made her sweat cold sweats. how does she know? “because you seem entirely uninterested with them. be honest with me. we’re best friends, right?” ningning continued her phrase, which calmed winter. “u-uh yeah. sheesh. i just don’t find them-” winter was cut off when she felt a hand over her head. who is it this time?

“hi winter!” a sweet familiar voice resonated inside the classroom. oh. winter stood up and faced the girl. “hi giselle, what can i do for you?” winter asked the girl. she was the student council president. quite young to be leading a prestigious school, but what can you do? she aces every exam. she’s a reliable student. she’s responsible. she’s approachable. the teachers have taken a liking towards her.

“i need your help checking this year’s festival program paper. i’m not quite sure about the events that were picked to be approved so we need backups.” she said with a soft voice. “sure, meet you in ten.” winter answered, and the girl left. before winter could take a seat, she heard ningning grunt. “what was that for?” winter asked. “she’s so fake! i hate her!” ningning said. winter got confused, so ningning told her misadventures with giselle. “there was this one time, i was talking to jisung, you know, ‘cause we’re choir groupmates? and she was staring so hard at me! dead stare! cold!” ningning exclaimed.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *IMPORTANT NOTE PLEASE READ  
> \- as you can see in the tags, (maybe some aren't put in the tags but) nct, exo, red velvet, suju, shinee, and snsd are involved.  
> \- they are all a family except for winter, ningning, and giselle. (i promise they will play a big role in karina's life here.)  
> \- they are all (nct, red velvet, *later on* exo, and aespa) are grandchildren of lee soo-man (they all have lee as their last names)  
> \- boa and leeteuk (accdg., to my research) are one of the /oldest/ sm ent idols, so i chose them as lsm's younger siblings.  
> \- the rest of suju and shinee are yoona's siblings. (ps. some may not be mentioned.)  
> \- yoona is lee soo-man's only daughter in this family. (she is lee yoona here.)  
> PS.   
> I BASED SOME CHARACTERS BY THE VIBE THEY GIVE OFF WHEN THEY PERFORM. IF THEY ARE MEAN HERE, I'M SORRY IF YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED BUT THE CHARACTERS HERE IN MY STORY ARE DIFFERENT FROM THE REAL PEOPLE, OKAY? DO NOT REFLECT ON THE REAL PEOPLE, JUST THE VIBE. THANK YOU! <3 xoxo

yuri was busy baking cookies for her daughter when she heard their doorbell ring. “i’ll go get it.” her wife said. she answered with a yes while waiting for the oven to preheat at the designated temperature.

“yes, wha-oppa? what are you doing here?” yoona asked her older brother, siwon. of all the people she expected to visit, her brother was not one of them. “is it a crime to visit my sister?” he said jokingly, to which yoona disagreed by showing him a displeased face. “cut to the chase please. my wife and i are busy people.” she said straightforwardly. “well, uhm, jeno called me and told me to tell you that karina passed out in their school clinic.” yoona could not believe what he just said. “jeno? karina passed out? what do you mean? do they even go to…. wait a minute. you stay here, i will be back.”

yoona stormed to their kitchen where she found her innocent looking wife. “kwon yuri there is something you are not telling me.” yuri forgot about the cookies she was about to pull out from the oven after yoona raised her voice. “whatever do you mean...?” she answered. “where did you enroll karina?” yoona asked. yuri looked at other places and could not fixate her vision at yoona’s. “oh god no. don’t tell me…” yoona said in a disappointed voice.

“of all the schools this neighborhood offered, you really chose my father’s school, yuri?” yoona asked angrily. after she let her brother in and settle in their living room, yuri felt like she was a schoolgirl being reprimanded by her mom. “i found out jeno and the others go to that school. i thought by enrolling her there, she would be happy again because they’re her favorite people. and you know that jagi.” yuri answered her wife in a sweet tone, hoping that would calm yoona down.

deep inside a raging and mad yoona, she felt butterflies in her stomach and makes her wanna jump at her wife and kiss her passionately. but not now. not in front of her brother, she said to herself. “how did she get enrolled by the way? that school is a hard place to get in. what did you do?” yoona said, but now in a calmer tone. siwon cleared his throat that made the couple look at him. “i didn’t help yuri but i know she did call someone. should i tell her, yuri?” siwon said. “why are you asking permission from my wife? of course i need to know!” yoona told her brother.

“okay. weeks before you settled in this house, she went to my office. but i wasn’t there. i had taemin fill in my job for the meantime. so, they talked, and since taemin was jeongsu-samchon’s favorite nephew, taemin asked for him to enroll karina.” siwon said. yuri was just nodding her head while he was talking that indicated everything, he said was true. “but abeoji isn’t even the director anymore?” yoona said in confusion. “looks like you forgot who his sister was, huh.” siwon said in a snicker-ly manner. “what? oh. so samchon told boah-sungmo? surprisingly they approved huh.” yoona said in a tone that felt like happiness was trapped inside confusion and disappointment.

“but everything is beside the point. we need to go to the school now. you forgot the reason why i’m here, yeodongsaeng.” siwon told yoona in a stern manner, depicting that he was serious this time. “oh right! nae sarang, we need to leave. jeno called that karina passed out. maybe she forgot to bring her medicine. we’ll just go to the hospital after we pick them up.” yoona said to yuri and stood up. yuri just nodded to her, but before they left, yoona kissed her wife goodbye.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“jeno why did you call your dad? you know how they feel about karina.” haechan said in a worried tone. jaemin and jisung agreed by nodding their heads. mark was beside karina, holding her hand, while renjun and chenle were out to buy food for their cousin. “look, i’m sorry. i panicked. i couldn’t call yuri-sungmo or yoona-sungmo, i don’t have their numbers.” jeno answered in a low voice. “no need to point fingers now. since we’re all here, we will stay beside her. even if it means skipping classes.” mark spoke up.

“good morning, daepyonim.” the nurse that presides the clinic where karina was rushed to, greeted a woman. she was a petite woman, but with a strong aura. her features were soft but stern. her long, wavy, blonde hair swayed while she walked. she entered the room where dream was with karina and greeted them, “why are you not in your classrooms?” her cold voice bounced off the room that silenced the boys.

 _“how did she know we were here,”_ jisung said under his breath. they were all frozen on the spot. the lee grandchildren feared only three people in the world. lee soo-man, lee jeong-su, and lee bo-ah. apparently, the woman standing in front of them is lee bo-ah, the current directress of sky university, the school that lee soo-man owns.

“go back to your classrooms now.” she ordered them. jisung suddenly had the urge to talk back and stood up, “no. we will stay beside karina until her mothers arrive.” he said courageously but fear was evident in his voice because it was shaking. “lee jisung, you dare talk back to me? did siwon teach you that manner?” bo-ah angrily said because she was shocked of the boy’s manner. _back in the common house, he wasn’t like this._ she said in her mind. “mark, you approve of this? to think you’re the oldest. you were the closest to harabeoji.” she remarked again, and this time, she turned to the eldest. mark just ignored her and held tighter to karina.

“jeno? jisung? we’re here!” a familiar voice to bo-ah’s ears rang. she turned to the entrance of the room and saw two people, one of them a sore to her eyesight. yoona instinctly gripped on to her brother’s arm, slowly hiding behind him. siwon wasn’t dumb, as he went along with yoona, slowly pushing her to his back. “what’s the point of hiding now?” bo-ah snide remarkedly at yoona. “i’m not here for anything else. i just came to pick up my daughter.” she said while trembling.

“okay. after that, leave. you five, go back to your classrooms.” bo-ah said and left them all in the clinic room. everyone heaved a breath the moment she stepped outside the room. “hey, did daepyonim come from here?” renjun said as he entered the room. his face was as white as paper while handing out food to his cousins. “yeah, and she looked so mad we couldn’t greet her but i’m sure she didn’t see us.” chenle remarked. “are you gonna disregard the fact that siwon-samchon is here?” jaemin said to his two cousins who just arrived. the two were shocked to see their samchon and sungmo together. _wow, it’s been seventeen years since they sat together again._ renjun said to himself. “oh! hello!” the two said in unison.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TRIGGER WARNING: GASLIGHTING, MANIPULATION, VIOLENCE, ANXIETY, MENTAL HEALTH CONCERNS, MENTION OF BLOOD, ACCIDENT

karina was the youngest lee of the family. dream loved her very much. the fact that out seven, five of them had no siblings, only jeno and jisung. that’s why they’re very close with each other and treat one another more than cousins.

when they were younger, all lee family members lived in a common house. it was a mansion, no, almost a manor, that could fit a whole company. but as the years passed by, one by one, they left the house to build their own families. only karina was left there with their harabeoji lee soo-man and his younger twin siblings, bo-ah ang jeong-su.

one day, karina went to soo-man’s study room. all his grandchildren were welcome to enter his study room, with or without him in it. before the young girl entered, she knocked on the door. “karina, i told you. you can always enter. you don’t need to knock anymore, child.” soo-man said to his youngest grandchild. “i’m sorry. force of habit.” she answered timidly.

“what do you want? do you want the newest toy? book? you want to go somewhere?” soo-man asked karina. “i have a question,” she asked quickly and pursed her lips. “what is it? don’t be shy. tell me.” he answered. “why…why am i the only kid here? do…does….do they not love me anymore? were they tired of hearing me cry every night in my room that’s why they left? does…does my mom not love me? where is she, harabeoji? where is everybody?’ karina asked while holding back her tears.

soo-man was taken aback by the kid’s question. for a girl her age, she could’ve prioritized her childhood, her toys, books, and thinking of travelling. but she was different. soo-man did not know what to say so he called her in for a hug. karina could not walk straight, so when she took a step forward, she tripped and fell face first. that’s when tears fell from her eyes. soo-man was surprised that he ran to her aide. “goodness, child. are you hurt? karina? can you hear me?” he said while trying to make her stand up.

karina wasn’t crying. tears just fell down her eyes. she was in too much pain that she couldn’t utter a single word. she didn’t blink, she didn’t breathe, she didn’t move. she was too tired to do so. “oh dear, dear, please blink.” soo-man said worriedly. he went back to his desk to call their head maid. “hello? hello yes. please call the family doctor, karina fainted. she’s here with me.” he said over the phone.

the doctor arrived immediately, since they were just 10 minutes away. after checking up on karina, who turned out fine, but had minor cuts on her forehead, was taken to her room to give her some rest. irene, one of the elder cousins, arrived to visit their harabeoji witnessed the doctors leave from the front door. she raised an eyebrow and asked a maid what happened. _that brat again._ she said to herself.

before she went to her main agenda, she passed by karina’s room and barged in. “eonnie? what are you doing here in my room?” karina asked her older cousin, irene, who entered her room without knocking. “i just came to visit you.” she answered the younger while walking towards her. there was something about her sudden visit that made karina feel uneasy.

“o-oh. aren’t you busy with school stuff?” karina asked. she was still not okay from what happened earlier and now her heart’s pounding like crazy again. irene shook her head and smiled. her smile, her genuine smile that karina knew was not the smile that she wore right now. it was fake. it was weird. it was making her anxious. “do you want to know why your mother left you?” irene said straightforwardly without making any introduction to the topic whatsoever. karina was appalled. she fell silent, and her body became stiff. _w-what? does she know something?_ tears were starting to form in her eyes but did not seem to fall off.

“it’s because you’re a disappointment. you do nothing but cry. she left you because she was also a disappointment. she doesn’t love you. you’re weak. you’re ugly. you can do nothing. you’re hopeless. nobody in this house loves you. even harabeoji. especially harabeoji. he doesn’t care about you.” irene said the words like she was telling a story. every word left a mark in karina’s mind. it was stamped. embossed. it was printed. slowly, tears fell from karina’s eyes. irene, on the other hand, smiled devilishly. “see you around, dear cousin.” she said and left the room.

karina could not process what she heard. she was young. naïve. didn’t know what to believe in, who to believe in. unconsciously, she stood up and stormed to her harabeoji’s study room. soo-man was reading a book when karina entered stomping. the old man jumped out of his chair when the girl slammed her fists on his desk. “is it true? my mother left me? that she doesn’t love me? and you? you also don’t love me?” the young girl shouted.

the old man became confused, “darling, calm down. where did you hear those things?” he said in a calm tone. “stop pretending! i hate you!” karina shouted again and stormed out of the room. the old man went after her. karina went up the stairs to hide in the rooftop garden, where she considers as her safe-haven. “karina, honey, wait!” soo-man raced up the stairs behind her and grabbed her arm. “let go of me!” karina angrily said and shrugged off his arm.

before karina could take another step, she heard a loud thud. in that moment, the cloud in her mind cleared. she turned around and to her horror, her beloved grandfather was on the floor, unconscious and a pool of blood was surrounding his head and neck. she hurried down the stairs and shook his body. “h-harabeoji?” the young girl rested the old man’s head on her lap and started to cry.

“help! someone help me! please! help!” karina shouted. her voice echoed through the manor and several people came rushing. gasps and several curse words were heard from the personnel when they ran to karina. “what was that loud noise? what is happening-” a familiar voice that karina feared the most had arrived in the receiving area. 


End file.
